have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
