I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
