I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
