im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
