Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
