i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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