Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
