so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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