party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize