I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
