best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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