Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
