Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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