Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize