My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
