That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
