fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
