everyone is single if you try hard enough
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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