all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
