I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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