I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
