I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
