i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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