there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Every concussion has its silver lining
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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