He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
