dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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