12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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