my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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