Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
