Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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