so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
