thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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