you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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