sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
