Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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