Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
