Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
