you guys were way drunker than both of me
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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