can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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