I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
