I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
