oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
