Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize