In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
