Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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