I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
