Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
