I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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