i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
