Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
