If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize