she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
