chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
