the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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