He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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