Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
