I'm drive I can fine osifer
Duck Duck Cougar?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
