I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
