Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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