Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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