Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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