I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
