To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's like heaven, but drunker
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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