ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize