she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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