your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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