the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize