did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
