She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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