Whod you bang
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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