you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
